It's Not Funny Mom!

Yet again I fail at Best Mother award.

But I can't do puke. I mean I know I have to because it's in the job requirement, but I can't do it w/a closed mouth.

I'm one of those ones that will sympathetic gag. I smell it and I'm gone. I usually just start gagging...that's about it. Over the past 14 years I have cleaned up some doozy messes!

My kids probably hate me when they are sick. Which thank you Lord is not often.

Here's a scenario

Kids "Mommy I don't feel good"

Me "Does your tummy hurt? Do you need to go poo poo?"

Kids "No, I think I'm gonna puke"

Me "No you don't...don't think about it...think positive thoughts"

Kids "No really......" (get weird look on face)

Me "RUNNNNNNNNNNNN RUNNNNNNNNN LETS GET IN THE BATHROOM QUICK. Aim for the toilet"

Kids (retching sound)

Me "OHHH MAN THAT'S NASTY"

Kids (retching) "Mom I can't help it (retching)

Me "OH gosh Honey..I know...Mommy doesn't OH MAN THAT SMELLS...OHHHH I mean Mommy knows it sweety. I'm sorry...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

Kids (retching) "Mom"

Me "I'm sorry honey...it's not your fault...it's just gross"

(now this is the worst part...I start laughing....like total all out giggle...no idea why...maybe nervous...maybe part b/c it's a funny thing the body..puking....i mean you can't stop it...it just comes out ..which is kind of funny)

Kids (done puking) "Mom, I'm done now you can't quit laughing"

I know how horrible it is for me to giggle..I really try to stop. I guess it's my mommy defense ...and how I psych myself up to clean the bathroom.

Then I run around like a mad woman w/the can of Lysol spraying everything in sight. I keep the poor sick kid quarantined from the rest of the house. I just can't stomach (haha)the thought of having it pass to all the other kids.

Why the puke topic? Got a call from the school a few minutes ago that child #2 puked! Ugh! He looked pretty happy when I came. Said..."hey mom I made it to the trash can and no one from school saw but the nurse" haha good boy!