It's a Southern Thing
Down here, there is no Pepsi. Everything is Coke. Even Pepsi is
called Coke. True Southerners don’t like going North because up there,
if you ask for Coke, all y’all get is freaking Pepsi.
In Northern states, iced tea is served with a box of sugar packets
because Yankees are too lazy to actually blend sugar into the hot liquid
to make sweet tea. Damn Yankees.
Life below the Mason Dixon line is so sweet, just like our tea and
Coca-Cola. Southern accents over time have developed their own
vocabulary. These words tend to come out with even more zest if the
Southerner has been drinking bourbon.
Here’s a sampling of words only Southerners say
Y’all: it’s never “you guys” but “y’all”. We’ll know you’re a Yankee, or that your parents were Yankees, if you say “you guys”.
Fixin’ to: used to let your compatriot know what’s up. As in “I’m fixin’ to make me a drink”
Lagniappe: a little bit of something extra (especially for those form N’Awlins and the Gulf area)
Pocketbook: girls from the deep South’s middle-o’-nowhere areas are known to call it this instead of a purse.
Mash: Southerners don’t push things, we mash ‘em.
Po’Boy: a long sandwich, usually served with fried oysters, shrimp or
fish. But in NOLA, your po’boy could even have plain deli meat. Po’Boys
are really defined by their good, long crusty bread.
Buggy: it’s not a shopping cart, but a buggy
Might Could: a polite way of presenting your options
Caddywompus a.k.a. caddywonked: a more fun way to say sideways
Access Road a.k.a. Main Road: screw the term “service road”. If the
D.O.T. is working on the highway, there’s only one road to get back on
your route again and it’s via an “access road” or “main road”. And by
the way, if you live in the South, that construction is going to take
five years just to pave two lanes. Especially if it’s I-75 in Georgia or
Florida. Same thing for I-85 in the Carolinas. Because of this tragic
lack of getting the roads fixed, Southerners do not call our interstates
“freeways” but “highways”. There’s nothing free about our highways (see
GA-400).
Sweeper: as in run the sweeper referring to the vacuum
Made: whether you’re referring to a test you aced, a photo you took, or a baby you birthed, “made” is the verb
Changer or Clicker: you want me to pass you what? A remote control?
Honey, that thing is called the changer or the clicker. There’s no
controlling the remote in a Southern house. That darn thing will cause
World War III, ‘specially in SEC football season.
Yankee: anyone from the North. Even if you’re from Washington D.C.,
you’re a borderline Yankee. But stay here long enough, plant some roots,
and you’ll grow up to become a Southerner.
“Bless Your Heart”: if you’ve heard this, especially from a Southern
woman, she doesn’t mean it. It’s her nice way of telling you to put on
your grown up pants and deal with it. As said by one of our New York
friends “I could shout a parade of Yankee-style expletives in your face
and it wouldn’t be nearly as bitchy as bless your heart.”
Comments