Not In The Parenting Handbook

Things they don't tell you in the Parenting 101 Handbook...

The baby will take really long naps or sleep really late in the morning when you have plans to be somewhere.  

Moral:  Don't make plans

Thunderstorms only happen at night when your baby is sound asleep

Moral:  I got nothing...I can't control the weather

You sit down with your husband on the couch to watch a movie and the baby wakes every 15 mins

Moral:  Don't let the baby know you have plans to watch a movie

You plan a weekend getaway months in advance to spend with your spouse and your baby picks the day you leave to get the tummy bug

Moral:  Get refundable tickets

You are waiting for a call back from the doctors office and your child takes your phone and turns volume off and you missed the call

Moral: Suck it up and buy a used Ipod so you child can play games.  We all know computers are the way of the future, why not learn now(hee hee)

You are ready to leave the house and the baby spits up all over your top....You change your clothes and start walking to the car and then he has a diaper blow out.  It's all over him and you

Moral: Never run late....sweat makes my hair curl...not pretty

You are starving and there is only one piece of chicken left.  Your child has already eaten but 'claims' to be hungry.  You offer half your food.

Moral:  Hide in the closet .....you'll get the whole thing

Run a quick errand and don't take the diaper bag and baby has a blow out.  But when you always take the bag they never have a blow out

Moral:  Never leave home without it

You will realize that your children dress better than you for the next 18 years

Moral:  Make sure you can squeeze in your daughter's clothes so you will have cute ones too